Ryan: Bro, I bought you something for your birthday.
Daniel: Nice. What is it?
Ryan: Don’t open it yet.
Daniel: Why?
Ryan: Because I need to know whether you believe in Chinese traditions before you see it.
Daniel: That sounds like a threat.
Ryan: It’s a clock.
Daniel: …Okay?
Ryan: You cannot give me a clock.
Daniel: Why not? You literally just said you wanted something useful for your desk.
Ryan: A clock is useful. As a purchase. Not as a gift.
Daniel: What’s the difference?
Ryan: In Chinese, giving someone a clock is associated with 送钟 (sòng zhōng). It sounds like 送终 (sòng zhōng), which refers to seeing someone off at the end of their life. Basically, giving a clock can sound like you’re wishing someone death.
Daniel: So you’re telling me this perfectly innocent piece of electronics has somehow become a funeral invitation?
Ryan: Exactly.
Daniel: That is impressively dramatic for something that tells time.
Ryan: Laugh all you want. My grandmother would never give someone a clock.
Daniel: Did your grandmother ever give you a clock?
Ryan: No.
Daniel: And you’re still alive.
Ryan: Obviously.
Daniel: Then how do you know the superstition works?
Ryan: Because traditions don’t need to be tested like medicine. They’re about respect. If someone believes it, why risk offending them?
Daniel: That’s a different argument. I’m completely fine with respecting someone’s feelings. I’m questioning whether the clock itself brings bad luck.
Ryan: You always do this.
Daniel: Do what?
Ryan: Turn every normal conversation into a science experiment.
Daniel: Only when the science experiment involves my birthday present.
Ryan: Look, I’ve seen this happen. My cousin gave his father a nice clock for his retirement. His father immediately told him to return it.
Daniel: Did his father die?
Ryan: No.
Daniel: Did something terrible happen?
Ryan: They argued about it for half an hour.
Daniel: So the clock caused a family argument?
Ryan: In a way.
Daniel: More likely the belief caused the argument.
Ryan: That’s your interpretation.
Daniel: It’s the simpler one. The clock didn’t know it was a gift. Your cousin didn’t intend anything bad. The meaning came entirely from the cultural association.
Ryan: But cultural associations matter.
Daniel: Absolutely. That’s where I agree with you.
Ryan: Good.
Daniel: But that’s not the same as saying the superstition is objectively true.
Ryan: Suppose you give a clock to an elderly Chinese relative who strongly believes this tradition. Even if you personally don’t believe it, wouldn’t you avoid doing it?
Daniel: Yes.
Ryan: Then we’re basically agreeing.
Daniel: Not quite. I’d avoid it because I don’t want to upset them, not because I think the clock will somehow summon the Grim Reaper.
Ryan: You make it sound ridiculous.
Daniel: Because there’s no evidence that receiving a clock increases someone’s probability of dying.
Ryan: Maybe these things aren’t measurable.
Daniel: If a superstition makes a prediction about reality, it should leave some measurable pattern. If people who receive clocks consistently die earlier than people who don’t, we could investigate it.
Ryan: And if you don’t find anything?
Daniel: Then the evidence doesn’t support the superstition.
Ryan: You know, my mother once gave a friend a wallet with no money inside. Her friend immediately put a dollar in it because an empty wallet supposedly means you’ll always be broke.
Daniel: That’s another good example.
Ryan: How?
Daniel: The dollar doesn’t magically create wealth. But putting money inside may symbolize prosperity and make the gift feel culturally appropriate.
Ryan: So you don’t object to traditions?
Daniel: Not at all. I object when symbolism gets confused with causation.
Ryan: Hmm.
Daniel: Think about lucky numbers. Some people in Singapore avoid the number four because of its association with death, while others happily live on the fourth floor and nothing happens.
Ryan: Don’t say that too loudly. My aunt will hear you.
Daniel: Does your aunt avoid the fourth floor?
Ryan: She once rejected an apartment because it was unit 404.
Daniel: Did she find another apartment?
Ryan: Yes.
Daniel: And what happened to the people who moved into 404?
Ryan: I don’t know.
Daniel: Exactly. We remember the cases that fit the belief and ignore everything else.
Ryan: That’s confirmation bias.
Daniel: Look at you. You’ve been listening to me.
Ryan: Don’t get excited.
Daniel: Too late.
Ryan: But here’s something you’re missing. These traditions survived for generations. There must be some reason people keep following them.
Daniel: There is. Humans are social animals. Traditions help people communicate respect, identity and shared values. A tradition can be socially useful without being scientifically causal.
Ryan: So you’re saying I can believe in the tradition without believing the clock causes bad luck?
Daniel: Exactly.
Ryan: That’s actually a little uncomfortable.
Daniel: Why?
Ryan: Because I’ve always treated the two as the same thing.
Daniel: Most people do. That’s why superstitions are powerful. They often begin with a symbolic association, then over generations the symbolism starts being treated like a physical law.
Ryan: Like gravity?
Daniel: Please don’t give your grandmother ideas.
Ryan: Imagine telling her, “Grandma, the probability distribution of death is independent of whether I purchase a wall clock.”
Daniel: She’d probably hit you with the wall clock.
Ryan: Fair.
Daniel: So, can I give you the clock?
Ryan: Absolutely not.
Daniel: Why?
Ryan: Because even if I don’t believe it causes death, I don’t want to spend my birthday explaining Chinese phonetics to my grandmother.
Daniel: Fair enough.
Ryan: But you can give me a watch.
Daniel: Why is a watch different?
Ryan: It isn’t.
Daniel: Then why?
Ryan: Because my grandmother hasn’t decided watches are unlucky.
Daniel: So we’ve discovered the real law of superstition.
Ryan: What law?
Daniel: The object isn’t dangerous. The auntie is.
Ryan: Finally, some science I can believe in.
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