Riding a bear or wearing bear hair can cure whooping cough and protect from the evil eye

[Scene: A quiet tea shop in Lahore. Two friends, Ali and Hamza, are sitting on a wooden bench, sipping chai.]

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Ali: (excitedly) Yaar, Hamza! I’ve found the cure for my nephew’s whooping cough. You won’t believe it.
(Friend, Hamza!)

Hamza: (raising an eyebrow) Knowing you, I’m already scared. What is it this time? A magical talisman? Holy water from the Himalayas?

Ali: (grinning) Even better. My chacha (uncle) told me—if the kid rides a bear, or at least wears bear hair around his neck, the cough will vanish. And bonus: no evil eye will touch him!

Hamza: (almost spits out his chai) Wait, wait. Did you just say… ride a bear? Like a real bear? In Lahore? Bro, this is a city, not a wildlife park!

Ali: (nodding seriously) Haan yaar! (Yes, friend!) It’s an old tradition. They say bears have spiritual power. If a child touches a bear or wears its hair, the sickness goes away.

Hamza: Ali… do you realize how insane that sounds? First of all, where are you going to find a bear? In Liberty Market? “Excuse me bhai, ek chai aur ek bear rental, please”
(Excuse me brother, one tea and one bear rental, please)

Ali: (laughs) No yaar, (No, friend) there’s a baba (old man/spiritual healer) near Murree who keeps one. People go there for blessings. My cousin took his son last year, and the cough vanished in three days.

Hamza: (leaning forward) Three days? Ali, most whooping cough cases improve on their own in a week or two—with proper rest and sometimes antibiotics. It wasn’t the bear; it was biology.

Ali: (defensive) Biology, shmiology! You science types never understand the power of traditions. My dadi (grandmother) always said, “Jahan dawai fail hoti hai, wahan dua kaam karti hai.”
(Where medicine fails, prayers work.)

Hamza: Dua (prayer) is fine, bro. Pray all you want. But risking a bear hug for a cough? That’s like fighting a headache with a hammer. What if the bear decides your nephew looks like lunch?

Ali: (grinning) Aray yaar, (Oh friend) they tie the bear. It’s safe. And look, it’s not just about cough. The bear’s hair protects from the nazar (evil eye) too.

Hamza: Nazar, nazar, nazar. You know what protects from nazar? Common sense. And maybe sunglasses.

(pauses, then smirks) Or do you think the evil eye will say, “Oh no, he has bear hair! Abort mission!”?

Ali: (laughing but still stubborn) You make jokes, but people believe this for centuries. It’s not just us—my mother told me in Swat, they do this too.

Hamza: And centuries ago, people also believed the earth was flat, yaar. (friend) Should we go back to that? Science exists for a reason. If the kid has whooping cough, take him to a doctor, not a jungle safari.

Ali: (softly) Doctors gave medicine. Still no improvement.

Hamza: Then maybe change the doctor, not the species of animal in your plan. Or get a second opinion. There are vaccines, antibiotics, humidifiers—real solutions.

Ali: (thinking) Hmmm. But what’s the harm in trying both? Doctor ka ilaaj, aur thoda sa bear magic?
(Doctor’s treatment, and a little bear magic?)

Hamza: Harm? Besides wasting time and money? Besides teaching the kid that bears are pharmacies? Besides the possibility of a bear… you know… eating him? No harm at all!

(both burst into laughter)

Ali: (grinning) Fine, fine. Maybe you’re right. But still… admit it, wearing bear hair sounds cooler than wearing a mask.

Hamza: (smirks) True. But I’d rather wear a mask than become a bear’s snack.

(They clink their chai cups and laugh again.)