Don’t go straight home after attending a wake (“pagpag”), or the spirit of the dead may follow you

Miguel (superstitious):
Uy, Lara, wait lang. We can’t go home yet. We just came from a wake! Let’s do pagpag first. Baka may sumama sa atin.

Lara (rational):
Miguel, seriously? We just spent three hours at the lamay, and you want to wander around at 11 p.m.? I just want my bed.

Miguel:
Bed? Gusto mo ba may multo sa tabi mo habang natutulog ka? Pagpag is important! My Lola swears by it.

Lara:
Your Lola also swears that eating watermelon seeds will make a pakwan grow in your stomach.

Miguel:
And have you ever swallowed a seed? No. Because we respect tradition.

Lara:
I swallowed one last week, actually. I’m still pakwan-free.

Miguel:
Eh kahit na! You know how it is—spirits get clingy after a wake. My cousin’s neighbor’s friend once went straight home and had nightmares for three nights. Coincidence? I think not.

Lara:
Miguel, nightmares are more likely caused by stress than spirits hitchhiking on your back. You attended a wake, saw people crying—of course your mind is loaded.

Miguel:
But what if it isn’t just stress? What if the spirit feels… welcomed? Tapos sasama sayo?

Lara:
What are they going to do, follow Google Maps to your house? “Recalculating… turn left in 300 meters.”

Miguel:
Lara! Don’t joke about it. Spirits have ways.

Lara:
But think about it. If spirits could just cling to people, wouldn’t funeral homes be the most haunted places on earth? The employees there go straight home every day! No pagpag. Where are the horror stories?

Miguel:
Actually… that’s a good point. Pero still! Everyone I know does pagpag. Tradition is tradition.

Lara:
Tradition isn’t automatically truth. Sometimes it’s just something we do because our families did it. Like my uncle who insists on blowing on hot coffee even when it’s cold already.

Miguel:
Okay, but what’s the harm in doing pagpag? Better safe than sorry, diba?

Lara:
Sure, but look at us. It’s late. We’re tired. And your idea of pagpag is going to the nearest 7-Eleven to buy chicharron. I feel like the spirit, if it exists, would just join us for snacks.

Miguel:
At least we’re not bringing it home!

Lara:
Miguel, spirits—if they exist—won’t be fooled by a detour to 7-Eleven. “Oh no, they bought chips! I can’t possibly go to their house now.”

Miguel:
Hmph. You’re teasing me, but you’re still walking with me to 7-Eleven.

Lara:
That’s because you’re my friend, and because I like chicharron. But I’m doing it for you, not for the hypothetical clingy spirit.

Miguel:
Fine. But admit it—some part of you doesn’t want to risk it.

Lara:
Nope. Zero fear of ghosts following me home. But I am afraid of you sulking the whole night if we don’t do pagpag.

Miguel:
At least you’re honest.

Lara:
Always. Now come on. Let’s get your pagpag snack. And after that, promise me you’ll consider that maybe—just maybe—tradition isn’t the same as evidence.

Miguel:
Okay… but only if you don’t make fun of me in the store.

Lara:
I won’t. Unless the store lights flicker mysteriously.

Miguel:
Lara!!!