Buying a broom in May will sweep a friend away

[Scene: A cozy kitchen in a small English town. The kettle whistles as Alice pours tea. Sophie walks in, holding a brand-new broom wrapped in brown paper.]

Alice:
Oh, fancy that! Finally bought a broom? I was starting to think the dust bunnies were going to unionize.

Sophie (horrified):
Alice! You can’t say that word out loud in May!

Alice (confused):
What word? Broom?

Sophie (whispering):
Yes! You shouldn’t buy one in May. Don’t you know the saying — “Buy a broom in May and you’ll sweep a friend away”?

Alice (grinning):
Sweep a friend away? So, if I buy one now, you’ll just vanish? Like, poof — gone with the dust?

Sophie:
It’s not funny! It’s bad luck. My gran swore by it. She said her best friend stopped talking to her right after she bought a broom in May. They never spoke again!

Alice:
Maybe the friend didn’t fancy being volunteered for cleaning duty.

Sophie (crossing her arms):
You joke, but strange things happen. I’m telling you, these old sayings come from somewhere.

Alice:
Sure — from a time when people blamed everything on fate or witchcraft. You know, like how spilling salt meant the devil was lurking, or black cats were witches’ pets.

Sophie:
Well, some of those still make sense. Spilling salt is bad luck!

Alice (smiling):
Only because salt used to be expensive centuries ago. People made a big deal of wasting it, so they made up a curse to remind you to be careful. There’s a practical reason behind most superstitions.

Sophie (suspiciously):
So what’s the “practical reason” behind the broom one, then, Miss Scientist?

Alice (thinking):
Hmm, maybe because spring cleaning happens in May, and people were sick of being nagged to clean, so someone started a rumour — “Don’t buy a broom, you’ll lose friends!” Instant excuse not to tidy.

Sophie (laughs, then catches herself):
Okay, that’s actually funny. But still, I’m not risking it. What if I lose you as a friend?

Alice (teasing):
You’d have to try harder than buying a broom for that. Besides, look — I bought mine last week. In May. And here I am, still your friend.

Sophie (mock gasp):
You didn’t! You actually did that?

Alice:
Of course! I needed to sweep the patio. And guess what? My social life didn’t crumble. In fact, you came over for tea.

Sophie (narrowing eyes):
Or maybe I’m the last friend you have left.

Alice (laughing):
If that’s the case, then I’ll buy another broom tomorrow — see if I can sweep away Dave from next door. He keeps borrowing my bin.

Sophie (chuckling):
You’re impossible. I just think it’s better to respect these old beliefs. They’ve lasted generations for a reason.

Alice:
True, but lasting doesn’t mean true. Some people still think walking under ladders is unlucky — but it’s just unsafe. Paint cans and gravity are the real problem, not fate.

Sophie:
Still… I’ll wait until June to buy one. No harm in being cautious.

Alice:
Fair enough. You keep your luck, and I’ll keep my clean floors.

Sophie (grinning):
And if your broom does sweep me away, I’m haunting you. Forever.

Alice:
Perfect. You can dust the shelves while you’re here.

[They burst into laughter as the kettle whistles again.]