Consuming dairy products with seafood causes skin diseases

Setting: A cozy chai dhaba in Karachi, evening time. The air smells of fried pakoras and salty sea breeze. Two old friends, Bilal and Saad, are seated on a charpai, sipping chai and munching on fish fry with naan.

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Bilal:
(pushes the bowl of yogurt chutney away)
Bro, don’t eat that with the fish! Have you lost it? Dairy and seafood together? You’ll end up with phuphund on your skin!

Saad:
(chuckles, dips his fish into the chutney)
Come on, Bilal. Not you too. You’re the same guy who installed solar panels himself after watching a YouTube video — and now you’re scared of yogurt and fish?

Bilal:
Yaar, it’s not a joke. My phuppo once had fish with lassi and got white patches on her face. Doctor called it something — vitiligo. But we all know what caused it.

Saad:
Let me guess… the dahi machli combo?

Bilal:
Exactly! You know it’s an old warning. Even Ammi says it’s in our deen to avoid harmful combinations.

Saad:
Wait, wait — now don’t drag religion into this. There’s nothing in the Quran or Hadith that says you can’t enjoy grilled fish with raita. Trust me, I’ve checked. It’s just a myth passed down like an heirloom.

Bilal:
So you’re saying generations of aunties were wrong?

Saad:
Bilal bhai, generations of aunties also believed in jinns living in trees and curing nazar with red chilies. Doesn’t make it true.

Bilal:
Hey, don’t insult Ammi ki wisdom. She says her nani used to tell her: “Jis ne machli ke saath doodh khaya, uski shakal daag se bhari.” You want daag daar skin?

Saad:
Bro, dermatologists would go out of business if that were true. I literally saw a chef on Food Network Pakistan make a fish lasagna — with béchamel sauce. That’s milk, Bilal! And nobody broke out in hives.

Bilal:
But that’s gora food, yaar. Maybe their stomachs are built different?

Saad:
So our stomachs are third-world stomachs? Don’t be colonized in your digestion, Bilal.

Bilal:
laughs Okay okay, clever line. But I swear, my cousin Adeel got itchy arms once after a fish burger and a milkshake.

Saad:
Maybe he’s allergic to fish. Or milk. Or the terrible hygiene at that burger place near Saddar. Not the combination itself.

Bilal:
Still… why take the risk? What’s the harm in being careful?

Saad:
The harm is we start avoiding harmless things. Then next thing you know, people are skipping vaccines because “dadi said so.” It’s a slippery slope, man.

Bilal:
Hmm… but still, that white patch on phuppo’s face was real.

Saad:
Sure. But vitiligo is an autoimmune condition. It’s not caused by food. If yogurt and fish caused skin disease, half of Japan would be covered in blotches.

Bilal:
That’s… oddly convincing.

Saad:
Thank you. Now, will you please dip your fish into this mint yogurt like a civilized Karachiite?

Bilal:
(hesitates dramatically)
Okay, but if I wake up with spots tomorrow, I’m sending you the hospital bill.

Saad:
Deal. But if nothing happens, I get to post a photo of you on Instagram with the caption “From superstition to sophistication.”

Bilal:
groans You’re insufferable.

Saad:
And yet — always right.

(Both burst into laughter as Bilal reluctantly dips his fish into the chutney and takes a bite.)