Never walk under a two-legged pole

Setting: A chilly afternoon in Moscow. Dima and Alexei are walking home from a local grocery store, bundled up in coats, carrying bags of groceries.

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Dima: (suddenly stops) Wait! Don’t go under that drying rack—it’s got two legs. Go around.

Alexei: (raising an eyebrow) Dima, it’s a clothes-drying rack. On the sidewalk. Why are we detouring like we’re avoiding a bear trap?

Dima: Because it has two legs. Walking under a two-legged pole brings bad luck! You know this, Alexei.

Alexei: I know you believe this. But statistically speaking, walking under a two-legged anything doesn’t change the laws of probability. It’s not like fate is waiting to slap you for taking the shortest path.

Dima: Tell that to my Aunt Svetlana. She walked under one of those racks before her cat vanished for two days. Coincidence?

Alexei: Yes. Unless the cat was hanging from the rack. Dima, people lose cats all the time—there’s no scientific correlation. I walked under a whole scaffold last week. You know what happened?

Dima: You got stuck in that elevator for an hour. I rest my case.

Alexei: (laughing) That was because Misha pressed all the buttons in a vodka-fueled act of rebellion. Not cosmic punishment.

Dima: Still, why risk it? What does it cost to go around? It’s like avoiding black cats, or not whistling indoors—simple precautions.

Alexei: Because when you start avoiding every minor “omen,” life becomes a maze. What if someone builds a house with a two-legged arch? Will you never visit?

Dima: Depends. Does that house also face northwest on a Wednesday? Because that’s doubly cursed.

Alexei: (grinning) Dima, you need a science exorcism. Next thing you’ll say is I should wear garlic to prevent bad Wi-Fi.

Dima: Don’t mock! My grandfather swore by hanging garlic at the front door to ward off evil… and cold drafts.

Alexei: And how’s that worked for him?

Dima: Never caught the flu. Or vampires.

Alexei: Or friends who stayed longer than five minutes in a house that smelled like pickled fear.

(They both laugh.)

Dima: Look, I know it sounds silly to you, but these traditions make me feel… grounded. Like I have control over chaos.

Alexei: That’s fair. Superstitions do give people comfort. But for me, understanding why things happen—the real why—is more empowering than rituals.

Dima: So no part of you ever follows a superstition? Not even for fun?

Alexei: I’ll admit… I never split a loaf of bread upside down. But only because my babushka would haunt me in my dreams.

Dima: Aha! So science does fear ghosts!

Alexei: No, science fears babushkas. Totally different species.

(They laugh again and continue walking, passing under a street sign.)

Dima: You just walked under that sign.

Alexei: I did. Wanna bet nothing happens?

(Suddenly, a bird poops on Alexei’s shoulder.)

Dima: (deadpan) Science: 0. Superstition: 1.

Alexei: Fine. But correlation is not causation. Also… hand me that napkin.

Dima: (handing it over) You know what’s good luck in Russia? Bird poop.

Alexei: Convenient. Now your superstition wins no matter what.

Dima: Exactly. That’s the beauty of it.