Giving “birthday bumps” (lifting the birthday person for each year of age) brings luck

[Scene: A cozy kitchen in Toronto, with snow gently falling outside. Raj is sipping chai while Liam sips a black coffee. It’s Raj’s birthday week.]

Liam:
So… big 3-0 coming up, huh?

Raj:
Yup! And I’m ready for it. Just stretching my shoulders in advance—you and the boys better be ready to lift me. Thirty bumps, Liam. It brings luck, remember?

Liam:
Sighs Raj, are we really doing the “birthday bumps” thing again? You realize there’s absolutely no scientific basis for that being lucky, right?

Raj:
Come on! Don’t ruin the vibe. My cousin in Mississauga got 29 bumps last year, then got promoted and won $500 on a scratch ticket the next day. Coincidence? I think not!

Liam:
Yes. Exactly. It is a coincidence. Correlation doesn’t equal causation, my superstitious friend.

Raj:
Oh please, Mr. Science. There’s tradition, there’s karma, and there’s birthday bumps. You can’t just dismiss centuries of culture with a Google search.

Liam:
Raj, you grew up in Scarborough. Where exactly are these ancient bump-giving sages from?

Raj:
Okay, fine, it’s not ancient. But it feels sacred. And hey, it builds camaraderie! Plus, it’s fun. Unless you’re the one getting lifted.

Liam:
Fun, sure. But I still remember your 26th—Dave dropped you on the hardwood floor and you limped for a week. Was that part of the “luck”?

Raj:
That was Dave’s fault, not the tradition’s! And anyway, I did find my phone after losing it for two days. So maybe the fall realigned my karma.

Liam:
Or maybe it fell between your couch cushions, which is where I found it. Let’s not elevate back pain to divine intervention.

Raj:
You don’t get it. These rituals give life a little magic. Without them, it’s all… spreadsheets and scientific journals. Yawn.

Liam:
Magic’s great in Harry Potter, but in real life? I’d rather not risk a herniated disc in exchange for “luck.” You want magic? Get a flu shot and feel your immune system actually work. That’s real-life wizardry.

Raj:
Okay, Professor Rationalpants, let me ask you—what do you do for your birthday?

Liam:
Pizza. Movie night. Maybe a quiet hike. Zero violence. Zero spine compression.

Raj:
See? No wonder you’re always so stressed.

Liam:
I’m stressed because I hang out with a grown man who thinks being hoisted like a sack of potatoes brings fortune.

Raj:
Hey, I’m a lucky sack of potatoes.

[They both laugh.]

Liam:
Look, I’m not trying to ruin your fun. If it makes you happy, fine. But maybe let’s cap it at five bumps? You know, for safety and spinal longevity.

Raj:
Deal. But you have to shout, “For good luck!” after each one.

Liam:
Only if I can shout, “Not FDA approved!” afterward.

Raj:
Fine, fine. But don’t blame me when I win the lottery next week.

Liam:
If you do, I’ll give you thirty more bumps and tattoo “Raj was right” on my arm.

Raj:
You’re gonna regret that.

Liam:
Statistically speaking… I’m pretty safe.