Scene: Maya is repainting her porch. Jess drops by for a visit.
Jess: (stepping onto the porch)
Whoa, did a robin’s egg explode out here?
Maya: (beaming)
It’s “haint blue,” thank you very much. I just finished the second coat. Ain’t no evil spirits gettin’ past this ceiling.
Jess:
You seriously believe a paint color can block ghosts?
Maya:
Not ghosts—haints. Evil spirits that haunt the living. Totally different. Haints hate water, and haint blue looks like the sky or a river, so they get confused and keep floatin’ on by.
Jess:
So… you’re tricking ancient spirits with Sherwin-Williams?
Maya:
Exactly. It’s been done for generations. My great-grandma said she never had bad luck until she painted over her haint blue porch. Then her cat ran away, the well dried up, and her pies never set again.
Jess:
Maya. Your great-grandma probably used expired lard.
Maya:
laughs You think it’s funny, but look—since I moved in and painted the ceiling blue, no weird noises at night, no power outages, and my ex hasn’t shown up once.
Jess:
That sounds more like good insulation and a restraining order.
Maya:
Something’s working. Don’t mess with success.
Jess: (smirking)
Look, I love that it’s a Southern tradition, and hey, the color’s charming—but it’s pigment, Maya. Not spiritual Teflon. There’s zero empirical evidence that paint deters paranormal activity.
Maya:
Oh yeah? Explain why almost every porch in Charleston has a haint blue ceiling. Even new houses!
Jess:
That’s tradition, not science. Like eating black-eyed peas on New Year’s or not opening an umbrella indoors. It feels right, but it doesn’t do anything. You know what does keep haints out? Deadbolts.
Maya:
You’re no fun.
Jess:
I’m plenty of fun. I just prefer my ghost prevention methods peer-reviewed.
Maya: (grinning)
One day, when a haint comes tap-tap-tapping at your window, don’t come crying to me.
Jess:
Fine. And when you catch a cold because you’re outside repainting in December, don’t tell me the haints were testing your faith.
Maya:
Touché. But listen—I get it. You like science. I like spirit stories. But maybe traditions like haint blue aren’t just about ghosts. Maybe they’re a way of feeling protected in a chaotic world. A little color therapy with folklore sprinkled in.
Jess: (softening)
That I can respect. Honestly, if it brings you peace, and it’s not hurting anyone, paint your whole house haint blue. Just… don’t expect me to co-author a research paper on it.
Maya: (mockingly)
“Spectral Aversion via Hue-Based Architectural Enhancements: A Double-Blind Study.”
Jess:
Exactly. Publish in the Journal of Paranormal Paint Chemistry.
Maya:
laughs Deal. Now help me hang these wind chimes. They keep the spirits disoriented.
Jess:
Only if I can wear my “This Is Not Science” T-shirt.
Maya:
Fine. But you are getting some pie out of this.
Jess:
Ooo, okay. Maybe haint blue does work after all.
Science Vs Superstition 
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